Hi I'm Alysa. I'm in a small club of the most man-dating omnisexual people ever. We don't have T-shirts but maybe if I get organized enough with this blog we'll get some; yay techie friends who can walk and chew gum at the same time and even make me a blog. If Mom could see me now!

So you know all those stories on Sex and the City? And how almost no one believed they would happen in real life but they were so compelling because there was some part of you that thought from your own ridiculous dating experiences (you know that ONE date you can't even believe happened?) that there was a chance in hell that date on SAC could happen to YOU? Yeah, that's my life. I am on match.com, and though I have some experience with other venues, I have to say match is where it's at. Oddly they have like the worst tech support ever, but if you want to know how to get a date, you can take your lessons from the good profiles on there....and the bad profiles on there, and I recommend that you do.

Mine kicks ass and I always meet really nice people, and if you think the two aren't causally related, you're way off your rocker. Some of the nice people I meet, you'll get to know on here. Some of the rejects (there are occasionally rejects when you go through as many people as I do) you'll also get to know on here. Keep in mind that although I have a pretty good imagination, I won't put anything on here that's not true to the best of my understanding. I also try to be fair in my characterizations, even if someone I go out with is a complete ass to me. After all, we're all doing the best we can. If we could do better and create less drama and more peace in our lives, then we'd be doing that. Thanks Gloria and Jimmy for that insight.

So, the fact is, I date A LOT of people. I'm not against my own company; I'm super fun actually. But I have an enormous amount of relational energy and I love people, and dating doesn't wear me out like it does a lot of people--well, it does occasionally, but when it does I just go home. It seems though, from talking to people, that I can do more of it than other people without getting reeeeeaaaaallly bitter or burnt out. I like getting to know people and what they want out of life, and I'm not gonna lie, this is maybe the only kind of legal field work where you get to have sex in the research process and where you have a potential of getting really awesome relationships out of the deal. It's pretty sweet. Men who read this may think I'm getting it pretty good too since I'm "not the man" and "not paying", because trust me when I say I've talked to A LOT of men who say they finally went on match because dating was getting too expensive. I hear that. And let me say if someone doesn't seem appreciative, you shouldn't be taking them out, and if you find that you already are taking them out, you should feel free in this day and age unless you picked the place or specifically asked her? out to not pay for her meal. (By the way for the sake of not typecasting gender here I will in general use the "them" term when it's useful even though it will rankle the eyelobes of English majors the world over). On the other hand, most of the time you should plan on paying because you probably booby trapped yourself already into it via the aforementioned social customs. But guess what? That's why you don't go out with her again. Same goes for you, ladies.

Regardless of what end of the date you're on, chalk up the failure of a good date to you not being quite perceptive enough yet to attract someone more grateful and wowed by you, get in your own head and figure out what it is about you that's attracting less than grateful or gracious people (which may very well include your inability to get excited about your own life or to take a true interest in others'), go back THAT NIGHT and adjust your profile to be more positive, take the time you need to regroup (and NOT enough, by the way, to convince yourself "they're all like that"), and then get back in the game. And Date Hosts, if you REALLY want to stop paying for dates, we women would LOVE it if you would take an ACTIVE role in ENSURING pay equity in your workplace and the country in general.

A few related fun facts:
1. Did you know that Switzerland only instituted women's suffrage in 1990(1?), but instituted an Equal Rights and pay Act in the 1970's? Before you get all huffed up about us letting women go out at night (although we still get raped if we do, just so you know...how different is that from North Korea? I'm sure I don't know) and voting waaaaaay before Switzerland did, take a moment to realize the U.S. STILL has no ERA. Progress indeed. Women are raised to be selfless, generous people. We want to take you to dinner, guys. It's the simplest math ever for you to know why we can't. Do the math, don't overextend yourself in your dating offers, and get to know your lady friends. And know that if we all moved to Nevada, we could be making some serious dough, so if you want sex, you should be prepared to buy a girl a steak.

2. Feminists have been studied (roll eyes here) and proven to have way better sex than less (wow is there no good term to use here) "liberated" women. WHY?, the Cro-Magnons may ask? Because we will rock your socks in bed, know how to get what we need, don't always need you to give it to us, and will take you to edges you didn't know existed. You can be way freer, guys, with a feminist woman, and you probably don't even know what I'm talking about since America is so full of requiring very strict gender roles for guys, so get out there and find you a woman who lives in her mind and in her body and knows how hot she is in a wrinkled T-shirt. You'll be glad you did. If you don't believe me about the studies, look it up online. And if you think we won't play all those games in bed that you've had in your mind and couldn't figure out who to play them with, think again. The only way you'll ever find a woman strong enough to deal with your fantasies and really get into them without getting scared and retreating (or, dread, "laying there") and asking you if her ass looks fat in her jeans is if you get yourself straight and go find you a good feminist.

Enough said. So some of my stories to start with are going to be retroactive. I know that's a little lame, but I've been working like a dog in general lately so haven't paid much good attention to my match respondents, not to mention I'm dating some that are more the traveling business type right now. They all want my phone number of course, but you wouldn't believe the weirdness that can ensue and I find it's good to wait a bit on phone numbers. At any rate, I'm a very gracious respondent, but I have had to slow down a bit now that the holidays are over. But here's the bummer side-effect of that: today I'm off and today I'm by myself. Lame. Don't get me wrong. I'm super cool and outstanding company, but I don't really need that much time alone and I learn less about myself alone than I do with other people's input...and my main objective in life is to learn shit. In case you're wondering, I've already done loooads of meditating, so the lack of self-reflection or accumulated quiet time is sooo not the issue. It's actually enormous self-reflection that's made me realize my inner life is rich enough at all moments that I don't need that much time to myself. Also I have awesome relational gifts that can be best utilized with other people around. So there;).

Actually, though, I usually have enormous numbers of dates, per match.com's genius (and often despite its exceedingly poor tech support). I understand it's much easier for breeder women on there than breeder men, and because I'm cheap and I'm not in a location with 8 million LGBTQ's, I opt not to double post/spend for women. I look for relationships, pure and simple, and for a million different reasons I find it easier to meet women offline than to meet men offline, and I find it easiest and safest to meet men online.

All for now. I should really clean my house before it eats me. Peace out.